Change the outlook – Reframe your actions

Change the outlook – Reframe your actions

Feel stuck? Repeating the same habits? No change in the way you feel when faced with day to day unpleasant situations? Feel like you are going over and over with the similar actions? Or repeating the same impulsive behaviours?

We all look at life events through the lens that has shaped over the years. It is a reflection of our external environment, our past experiences. We see others around us tackle the issue or deal with a problem in a certain way. This shapes our own perception of the world around us. By observing others and their behaviours we adopt the similar ways of handling the events, relations or situation. And these form into habits. Our actions mirror those around us. Judgment and criticism start taking shape and we follow suit, unawares. Needless to say, it leads to unhappiness and frustration.

Reframe the situation to enhance happiness!

Reframe the way you look at the situation. Change the way you think about it. Change the way you feel about it. Every event generates emotions. Positive or negative. The latter include variable degree of disappointment, irritation, frustration, sadness or anger. More severe forms result in heightened emotional reactions. And once we get hijacked by our emotions, the prefrontal cortex becomes less active. The overpowering limbic system throws the logical response and rationale out of balance! This becomes obvious through judgement, criticism, displeasure, or more unpleasant instantaneous reactions leading to outbursts or even lashing out. And before you realise the reactions become so repetitive that we feel it is the only way to handle the situation.

It is important to break this chain of deeply rooted automatic habits. Harsh reactions serve us no purpose. Responding to any situation in a calm manner rather than reacting impulsively! It’s a skill. And it can be learnt by retraining. By closely paying attention to the rising emotions and by focusing on what follows after. So try to find that tiny tiny tiny pause between the event, your emotions and your reactions. This fraction of a second gives us the opportunity to take a step back. It gives us the opportunity to change the course of our own actions, if not the event. It gives us a chance to think differently. Rather than going straight from negative to positive, which may feel extremely difficult, this tiny pause creates a space to allow us to be at least neutral. It gives us a breather, a moment to choose wisely by making us not react rather respond in a better way.

Imagine for a minute, you are in a situation where you are navigating through a busy traffic and somebody pulls in front without indicating. What is your reaction? You may feel irritation, anger or perhaps yell at a person or honk loudly, Right? Instead, try not to react or do any of this next time you happen to be in a similar situation. It’s going to be extremely difficult but try to find that tiny pause before you start reacting. Try to stay neutral or focus your attention on your breathing or your surroundings. You can not change the course of events but you can certainly change the direction of your own actions and how you react. It can be a saviour in a difficult situation!

Reactions can be impulsive. Not much thought goes into acting on the spur of the moment. Sometimes the emotional outbursts may seem disproportionate or even unpleasant. And yet, that is the only way we have know for years.

Let the brain know there is another way.

Consciously shift the focus on how the body is reacting? So by paying attention to the situation closely, you can learn to develop awareness of your emotions. And you can also train yourself to recognise the associated bodily feelings, on purpose. Is there heaviness in your chest, does the jaw feel tight? Is the breathing shallow? Or perhaps the head feels heavy? Or there is pit in your stomach? When you shift the attention to your physical sensations, you will notice the intensity of unpleasant emotions ease. This shift anchors ourselves more in the moment. The mind automatically moves towards the being mode and we can bring ourselves out of the judging mind!

Look after your mind, rethink the course of your (re)actions!

(October is the Mental Health Awareness month)